Think Tank Softball

While no video intimidation means were used this week, the RBIs reputation as a fearsome force once again preceded them into battle. Though the Security Council of the Think Tank League had authorized a robust peacekeeping force of 26[,000] personnel, the clever lobbying by the RBIs’ Representative to the General Captains Assembly had successfully lobbied for Peacekeepers coming only from the Dupont Circle region, upholding the previous regional line of Dupont Solutions for Dupont?s Problems.

With a resolution from the Security Council, the softball peacekeeping force headed out to patrol the urban jungle of Dupont Circle? hoping to not encounter any attack from the Brookings RBIs. However, before they could even leave their headquarters at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace (ironically located immediately next door to the RBIs? forward base of operations), Peacekeeper General Travis Daub found himself several Peacekeepers short of a full team. Despite recent equipment arrivals from other member teams, without sufficient Peacekeepers to keep the RBIs? movements in check, a forfeit was the only viable option for the Peacekeepers. General Daub gave a press conference later in the day. ?We?ve told the Security Council previously, without the necessary manpower, there is no way to challenge the RBIs and protect other teams from a loss. This is especially critical as the season winds down.?

Though the Peacekeepers lived to fight another day, the RBIs improved to 5-5 on the season. RBIs’ political chief, Erin Williams, relieved to find her organization back at the .500 marker and having expressed happiness at the past two victories (coming through sheer intimidation), returned to headquarters to wonder how her small organization could adapt these tactics for the showdown with the Heritage Foundation next week.

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Cato 22, INL 7

Though the clouds lingered overhead the entire game, and the field was covered in a thick blanket of humidity, the Running Dogs battled through the adversity and put together a fine performance, both at the plate and in the field. The Dogs scored early with 6 runs in the top half of the inning, and continued with the offensive onslaught throughout, managing to post at least 1 run in each of the 6 innings that were played. Everyone who found themselves in the lineup contributed, with 10 of 13 Running Dogs scoring at least one run. In the end, the Dogs showed once again that they have the bats, as well as the gloves, to take this division.

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Hands 35, AEI 22 

On a dry spring day, two softball powerhouses met on the grounds of the Washington Monument and decided, instead, to test their skills on the gridiron. Division co-leaders AEI and Hands on DC both figured they had mastered the sport of softball, and wanted to challenge themselves with a full seven innings of football.

AEI started the game by demonstrating its speed and power, driving downfield for a touchdown. Unfortunately, the defense of Hands on DC took over and blocked the extra point attempt leaving the score 6-0.

Hands on DC, running its offense with the help of former Heisman runner-up and Hands on DC Legend Dave Koscho, put together two complete drives ending in touchdowns. Unfortunately, Hands on DC’s kicker was holding out on his contract, so both conversion attempts failed, leaving the score after one 12-6.

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Cato 14, AFF 11

Cato’s Running Dogs took the Tuesday and did what they’ve been doing for years, scoring a ton of runs and getting big outs when they needed them the most.

Facing the AFF AFFletics on less than favorable field conditions (there was a pond in right field and a patch of mud around home plate), the Dogs gave up a handful of runs in the top of the first inning, but then came back in the bottom of the inning to take the lead. The inning’s highlights included a 2-RBI single by Michael Hilburg, who was the first of five consecutive batters with hits. Kurt Couchman capped off the inning, driving in a run, almost taking an errant throw to his noggin.

Cato senior fellow Pat Michaels, making his Running Dogs season debut, split pitching duties with Tom Firey, keeping the AFFletics from putting together a big inning. Erin Agemy held her own at SS, showing off both her glove and arm. Ryan Young mishandled a couple of grounders to third, but more than made up for it with the bomb he hit to left field, that unfortunately was ruled a groundrule double when it rolled into the street. Zach Skaggs put together an impressive day, driving in two runs with a triple in the 3rd, not to mention playing solid defense at second base, recording the last out of the game.

Other notes: Nicki Kurokawa called a solid game behind home plate. Be sure to ask her about the amazing slide she made in an effort to catch a foul pop. Jeff McCoy put together a two-hit game, and Mr. “Pillar of Consistency,” Dan Mitchell, scored a pair of runs, as well as provided the team with the em